I am drawn into my inner self with a thought, “how do I keep our relationship alive, new, and filled with openness and joy?”

I don’t want to be in a relationship that feels old, empty, and routine.  I want to experience those feelings we shared together in the first weeks and months we met for years to come.  To look at my lover with that curiosity to learn more about her.   Deep in my heart I want to feel those feelings of being excited for the new moments of trying new things together, and even while doing the everyday tasks, continue to maintain a certain aliveness within our day-to-day life.

There is no doubt that with many days being very similar for most people it takes a conscious intention to create that aliveness most people want in their relationship.

So how do we keep it alive, fun, and new?

I just returned from a week-long retreat in California where I spent each day in meditation throughout the day, silence everyday from 9:30pm-9:30am with a group of like-minded people.  Each day I had many moments of walking the mountains paths alone, sitting in my room alone, and thinking about my life.

During many of my meditations and nights alone in my very small bedroom writing in my journal, I was reminded how important and essential it is to take time away from my relationship.   In many silent moments I would hear that deeper voice within me reminding me how important it is to take time to learn about myself and be alone.

This doesn’t have to be an entire week or an extended amount of time, but the importance of consciously taking time to love yourself, to learn about yourself, and to renew your connection with your Spirit is like watering a garden for the plants and vegetables to grow.

The point I want to focus on is “consciously taking time”.  What I’m referring to is not just physically being apart from your partner by going somewhere just to be away from them.  In fact, it really has very little to do with being away from them as it has more to do with being with yourself.  Taking “conscious” time means the thoughts behind the actions are intentional to love yourself.  Taking time to self-reflect, breath, listen to music that moves your spirit, writing in your journal, reading a book that opens your heart, or anything that comes from the intention of being with YOU.

Many people would agree with me that taking time away when your relationship is going through tough times is important, but it is just as important or even more important to take that time to yourself even if your relationship is amazing! Even if every moment is alive with laughter and love, the importance of taking a night to consciously be with YOU is vitally enriching.

I was sharing with Cher, my wife, that having someone in the house living with you makes it so easy to get comfortable being together and not taking the quality time to myself.  I have found myself often instead of being alone just watching tv with her or keeping myself distracted with mundane things.  That feeling of being so comfortable with your partner in everyday life is wonderful, but lets not lose ourself in that.

During my week-long retreat, I hadn’t used my phone or talked with Cher for a week and hadn’t been on the computer to check emails.  I found that by the end I couldn’t wait to share with her all that I had gone through and hear how her time with herself was.

Most of us already know this simple, yet sometimes challenging thing to do for ourselves is so important.  We cannot give to another what we don’t have for ourselves.  Give yourself the time to really BE with YOU and watch how that love spills over into your love for your partner.

Many blessings and bows to your sacred path of being in relationship……with yourself……and your partner.

When the family rushed over to tell us what had happened our first response was to call the police. Then suddenly, like a bolt of lightning coming out of sky a thought entered my mind.  It was something like, “You need to find a way for the city to be informed about this because there are amazing people out there that would be willing and grateful to help out by donating new toys and gifts for the family to have things to share on Christmas morning.”

I immediately found the phone number to NBC Action News and told them what happened. Within an hour they had a camera and reporter at the scene interviewing me and the family about the story and reaching out to the community for donations and help.

I can’t explain why I felt this way, but I had this deep knowing and faith that many people were going to help this family.  The news station listed my email address on their site and within 30 minutes I had 10 emails from people asking how could they help.

I was up until 2:00am on Christmas Eve receiving donations from people all around the city. Donations included toys for all 3 kids, 3 brand new bikes, hot cocoa maker, cash, gift certificates,  and much more.

Christmas morning we had the family come over to our house to see all that had been donated for them.  They were completely shocked and even moved to tears by the generosity of others to help their family.

This brings me to a point in which I want to encourage you to have more confidence in.  That is, “The Power of Asking“.

As human beings we are naturally looking for ways to help others.  When someone is looking for answers or for help with something, there is always someone or many people out there who are able and willing to help.

This is a skill that I have always been naturally gifted with, but as I have grown in my self-confidence, I have become more willing to ask. Even if I’m asking for someone else!

So often we don’t even think to ask others for help.  It doesn’t even enter the realm of possibility.  For example, you may be looking for change in your career, relationship seeking, financial struggle, looking to purchase something, or a dream you’ve always wanted to fulfill such as travel or buying a home among many possibilities.

The worst thing that can happen when you ask someone is they say, No. What have you lost when someone says, “No, I can’t help you”?

You haven’t lost anything, but in turn you’ve gained clarity on what that person is willing or able to do.  It’s very important not get personally attached to the answer people give you, whether it’s a Yes or No.  If they say No, then thank them for their time or support in other areas they have given you.  NO stands for Next Opportunity.

Go with the flow by being patient and grateful no matter what happens and keep pursuing what it is your seeking.

Some of the most successful people in the World have managed to get where they are because they gained the courage to ASK.

What is it in your life that you want to change?  Can you think of a creative way to inform and ask people what you’re looking for?

Also, notice if when you think of asking someone if the thought that you are being selfish or arrogant.  These thoughts along with other similar thoughts keep you from letting others do what they want most, TO HELP YOU.

Now if your asking for a large amount of money or a big request, then you better have a clear and important reason for that request.  Not to just live more comfortably.  Maybe, for example, you want to use that money to create a charity organization or start a business where the person that gave you the money can have some benefit towards helping you.

An important thing to remember is that our minds are so limited for what is possible for ourselves and this World.   There is nothing too big or too small to ask others for support.

Finally, remember that the universal laws work both ways.  As you practice the power of Asking, don’t forget to look for ways to Give!

It is in giving that we receive. – St. Francis of Assisi

As the years pass by, doesn’t it seem like time is getting shorter and shorter?     Now days, life is happening so quick that we barely get the chance to take it all in.  Technology is advancing, the environment we live in is faster, and there never seems to be enough time for all our to do’s.

When we get caught in the pattern of feeling like there’s never enough time, we often lose touch with the things that are most important to us.  That is, the feeling of being connected to our closest relationships, our health, spirituality, and personal time to relax and rejuvenate.

So how do we stop the feelings of being overwhelmed by the constant flow of work, to do’s, and busyness of our everyday lives?

The answer comes in a famous phrase, “You cannot resolve a problem at the level in which it was created.”

That means, in order to find the connection to a deeper part of yourself you must change the state of mind your currently have.

Lets lay out some of the common traits in which most people have when we are out of touch.

• life is FAST
• anxiety is high
• tendency to feel frustrated and agitated
• generally this creates sleep deficiency “lack of sleep”
• “     “      “    bad eating habits  “not giving the body the proper energy it needs”
• Rarely/never feeling inspired

The list can go on and on.

When you look at these patterns you can see that they are creating the foundation of an ungrounded and dysfunctional life.

The first step in changing your state of mind is to take time in your day to consciously remind yourself to “SLOW DOWN”

Consciously breathing in and out throughout the day creates an entirely new experience in your mind and body.  In order to feel reconnected to your deeper senses you must create more balance in your body, thoughts, and actions.

Slowing down will be the first and most powerful shift in turning your life around.  It will open you up to gratitude and inspiration.

Taking time for yourself to rejuvenate and renew yourself is vitally important for you, your loved ones, and the people you encounter on a day-to-day basis.  Can you find a way each day to stop all that you’re doing for others and take time to just be with yourself?

I don’t mean take time to frantically run around shopping or DOING things for yourself.  I’m asking, “Can you just BE with yourself?”  Sit alone…..breath…..slow down…..and enjoy the solitude of your own presence?

When I meet with someone who feels overwhelmed, anxious, or disconnected in their life, my first focus becomes getting them to slow down.  I do that by giving them a guided meditation to slow their breath and relax their body.  This gets them back in touch with the feeling of self-love and self-value.  Once you slow your breathing and body down you will start to reconnect to a deeper sense within yourself.  This will make you feel the inspiration and  balance to focus more on what matters most in their life.

Where do you find your inspiration?